24 hours stalking Terry Pratchett

I should probably give some background before I’m arrested.

I love Terry Pratchett, absolutely adore everything he’s ever written. When I was about 10 my uncle from Delaware recommended the dragon lance books to me. You couldn’t get them very easily here so they used to send them over to me. Then Mom got me to read the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. I began to work my way through my local bookshop’s tiny fantasy and sci-fi section. I read Terry Brooks, Douglas Adams, quite a few of the star wars books but I always shied away from Pratchett because his book covers looked so lurid and out there, I was only beginning to get into fantasy and trying to avoid children’s books because I was ‘all growed up,’ and lets face it, his covers did lead me to believe that they were for children. But the books were always intriguing. In my bid to be a ‘growed up’ I even read the Wasp Factory by Iain Banks, marginally more disturbing than anything I’ve ever read before or since. Eventually I ran out of other books to read (like I said, they didn’t have much) so I picked up the Colour of Magic and I was hooked.

Professor Sir Terry Pratchett OBE and Blackboard Monitor

A typical Sunday or Saturday back then: Myself, Mom, Dad and my sister walked into town. We’d leave Dad at the square so he could go to the pub and the rest of us would go do the shopping, groceries, clothes, school stuff, whatever we needed. We’d always end with a trip to the book shop. Then we’d join Dad in the pub and me and my sister would sit in the corner reading while the barman gave us free crisps and dairy milks.

It was a small pub, often packed to capacity. I read through all-Ireland finals like that. I read through the hitchhikers guide trilogy of five and a good portion of the discworld. That’s when I stopped trying to be grown up because it didn’t matter at all. Occasionally when I discovered a quote I would run over and recite it to my parents and the barflys that still recognise me to this day but I have trouble telling apart. I’d declare something like ‘Give a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour, but set him on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.’ then I’d run back to my corner and keep reading in search of more gems. Terry Pratchett is the reason I write because he taught me the fun you can have with language. He taught me how important it is to imagine how things should be and work towards them.He taught me a lot about people.

His presence as a member of staff in Trinity College was the icing on the cake when choosing Trinity over Belfast or UCD. His inaugural lecture last year was brilliant and last Wednesday night there was a questions and answers session with him and the head of the English Department, the ever-quirky Daryl Jones (I think all English professors are contractually obliged to be eccentric)

It was technically only for alumni and I had an essay and a story to submit that week as well as NaNo, but I volunteered to help out anyway. Myself and my friends were sitting in the front row, a meter, maybe a meter and a half from the genius himself. Afterwards there was a wine reception and while a few people monopolised his time, asking questions and that, we still got a picture with him and got to hob-nob over glasses of wine in the same room.

Then on Thursday we had a class with him. This was definitely the highlight for me. There was only fifteen of us in a room sitting around a table with him and we got to ask him any questions we like about writing. We got world building advice, a debate on genre fiction vs. literary, ideas for novels, the writing process and a truly epic tangent when one guy asked where he bought his hat. He talked about his new novel Snuff, no one else had read it so he turned to me and said “I’m just going to address this to my reader and the rest of you can all piss off.” For the rest of the afternoon he called me “my reader.” Best. Moment. ever. We talked about so much but here are the best bits.

Gems of Terry Pratchett:

  • The hat tangent: When Zach asked him where he got his hat he got incredibly specific details, then a commentary on fashion, praise of Victorian fashion, telling us how Queen Victoria really did like sex after all, then he talked about Victorian birth control.
  • He calls Cúchulainn Cuhooligan
  • he recommended we get jobs in local news papers, it will help writing
  • We need an eye for the serendipitous – if you’re open to ideas and information it will come to you, if you’re receptive towards inspiration it will swarm towards you.
  • he told us stories from his life that stuck with him which he later inserted into his books. He also told us quite a few stories that he hasn’t written yet and gave us full permission to write them first. He took us through one specific incident that fascinates him – the frozen ice trade in America in the 18th century – that stuck with him and explained how one thing can become so many different plots.
  • He doesn’t outline – the first draft tells him what the second draft will be
  • G. K. Chesterton’s work taught him about humour and paradox. The Punch comics taught him about literature and the world
  • “Walking through London is like walking through a kaleidoscope of colours, all golden people and they’re all English.” If you speak English you’ll become English. He reckons Hiberno-English is a particularly rich dialect.
  • I asked him why fantasy has had such enduring appeal for him considering he started off his career with YA and sci-fi. He said fantasy has all the tools, all the colours. You don’t have to mess about with with other colours to get the same effect. Approaching reality with fantasy reveals something new, with it he can turn his hand to anything.
  • He defined magic realism as “a bastard that says’ I’m a proper writer, but I’m going to write some fantasy.'”
  • he didn’t expect The Colour of Magic to be as successful as it was, he was halfway through writing another book called The Long Earth, which dealt with parallel universes.
  • To write you need to have  a love of language, word games and puns. Dramatising the truth for the purposes of instruction is soulless, you need to be able to spin words on the tip of your fingers. Facility with language is half the battle.
  • You need to research both your genre and outside your genre, bring new things to it.
  • Ideas are 10 a penny, what’s difficult is finishing.
  • When world-building don’t give a travelogue. The reader already knows what high mountains look like. Instead use a piece of dialogue or something. Show what’s different about these specific mountains. You can go over the top in descriptions when you describe through perceptions. Use things to describe a storm that you wouldn’t be able to attribute to ordinary weather.
  • He was successful because he made fun of the fantasy that doesn’t understand human beings or doesn’t know enough about reality. In fantasy you have to be real about the things that are real e.g. how long a horse can gallop for. If you make it real, say with a barbarian warrior whose feet still hurt, it’s relatable.

Afterwards he even signed books, I thought he wouldn’t but he signed The Colour of Magic for me.

Occasionally he was grasping for words and there were quite a lot of tangents but the signing was the only time when his alzheimers became apparent, his hands shook and it’s fairly illegible but it’s still one of my most treasured possessions.

There was a debate in the Phil society that evening ‘that the house would legislate in favour of assisted suicide for all adults.’ It was the single most absurdly formal thing I’ve ever seen. They were all in suits an dicky bows, lots of formulaic talking and reading of the minutes, standing up and sitting down at alarming rates. Then the debate began in earnest. All the speakers were very good and engaging and responded to audience interjections and POI’s well (except for the last guy, what the hell was that about?). It was really interesting and the pro-euthnasia side won, because frankly I don’t think anyone there was going to vote against Pratchett. No-one interrupted his talk, he spoke very softly but you could hear everything he said. He said he’s signed the letter to Dignitas but hopes he’ll never have to use it, he’d prefer a more English death. He spoke about his illness and why he signed the letter and that he’s glad he has it in his top drawer for when he needs it.

But fear not, he  said he has a few more books in him and that he’s in the middle of his autobiography.

He is a great man, a genius I’d say, and it will be a sad day when he does make the trip to Switzerland. No matter what I will continue reading and re-reading the Discworld for as long as I am able to read and write.

Decisions Decisions…

So I applied for a Creative Writing MA next year. There’s not much choice in Ireland, there’s one in University College Dublin (UCD), Trinity College Dublin (TCD) or Queen’s university Belfast (QUB). Some people argue that there’s one in National University of Ireland Galway (NUIG) but that’s really a masters in Writing; it has modules in journalism, biography, travel writing and other horrible practical stuff like that. I applied for the first year and intended to do an M.Litt in my alma mater if all else failed (no way on earth do I want to enter the real world yet)

So the applications process gradually leeches away the will to live. I applied for all of them in the midst of my regular essays, reading list and dissertation. some such as ucd required application essays, Belfast wanted obscure enough information (Why does it matter what hospital I was born in?) and just when I thought I was finished with trinity I got an email listing no less than 10 items I had to send to them immediately. Though the PAC is supposed to streamline this somewhat it fails misereably as most colleges still use their own system and all the acceptances come out at different dates, so you could pay a deposit in one college only to find out a month later that you’ve gotten a better offer elsewhere (and don’t get me started on the utter nightmare of getting Professors, who are lovely but really have their heads so far up in the clouds of their own research that they can’t function in a normal everyday level, to write a reference).

So I fought my way through all this and sat waiting (I had no idea when any of the acceptances were coming out) gradually convincing myself that I wouldn’t get in anywhere so that I wouldn’t be too disappointed if that were the case.

But I needn’t have worried, over the course of a month I got offered a place in all of them, I even got a scholarship oin Belfast. So now with a hat-trick (a situation I never expected to find myself in) I had to actually pick one.

I never really wanted to go to UCD. I know Flann O’ Brien did his masters there but in Folklore not English whereas Trinity and Belfast have Oscar Wilde and Seamus Heaney. I’ve heard to many bad reports about UCD, from strained resources, to poor course content to a lack of interaction with students. The list goes on and I know a handful of people who dropped out for these very reasons. ALso it just looks horrible, like a airport that’s halfway through being blown up. Too much concrete and buidling everywhere. One of the best things about Maynooth was the gardens, the grass, all the trees etc. It really helps with writing. So UCD was out. (It had only really been a back-up anyway)

Belfast sounds awesome, really really awesome. But a lecturer of mine made the really good point that all of it’s writers in residence are poets and I really want to specialise in prose and novels. Also there’s the hastle of moving so far away from family and friends and all the writers resources that are in Dublin. Also (as my mother put it) the danger of being a Catholic/having a Southern registered car around Belfast at the minute. to be honest I don’t think the last one is really an issue but Parents worry. So there’s nothing too wrong with Belfast and I would have been happy with it but…

Trinity is in the city center + Terry pratchett is an adjunct Professor (He gave the current class several workshops) + there are a lot of Irish literature modules on the course making it much easier to get a PhD out of it + I can move in with my boyfriend, removing all the anxiety I’ve had from living with crazies in student accomodation + writing being an industry that is partially based on ‘who you know’ and Trinity still having the prestige (though I’m not really sure if it’s deserved) means I can build up contacts and if I go to UK publishers with anything in the future they’ll be pretty impressed by the letters TCD on my CV  = Trinity for the win!

I already have several friends standing by to slap me if I go rogue (Trinners for winners loike y’know) so I reckon I’m in for a pretty interesting year, YAY!